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michelle
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| I feel anxious.
My stomach has butterflies, but for what?
I'm sad that you didn't stay over but not mad that you didn't either.
I feel anxious that the house is a disaster and I don't have a place to unwind.
I'm anxious that we fight a lot and yet we're still moving in. I'm worried that we won't work out and we'll have wasted Terry's time. I'm worried that I won't ever be happily married. Or even get married. I'm worried that I won't ever have a house. I'm worried about being able to afford Christmas and the apt. I'm worried about Blackie and for that one day when I get the call that he is or has put her down. I'm worried about your mom and her smoking again. I'm worried about my car and being able to afford the insurance going up. I'm worried that I'll never be at my healthy weight again. I'm worried that I'm the problem in the relationship and that I'll be alone forever.
I'm not worried...
About you not loving me. I know you do.
About you treating me well.
About having no friends.
I'm happy that my family and friends are alive and well. That I have 3 wonderful dogs who make me smile everyday. That I can for the most part make ends meet. That i have friends to have dinner with and talk to. Friends to take pics of and laugh with. | comments: Leave a comment   |
| | Subject: | oh... | | Time: | 06:32 pm |
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| so your sick and dont feel good. ok.
why do i get this feeling that tomorrow for mikes party your going to miraculously feel better? | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Is there something wrong with me? Am I really not the nice person that I thought I was? Am I really this know it all bitch who takes everyone and thing for granted?
I sure as hell feel that way sometimes... | | comments: Leave a comment |
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It would really depend on my mood. I'd probably most likely choose camping in the woods. I love camping and so long as I have the proper equipment I don't even mind if it rains...I love sitting by the fire and just talking with friends while having a drink. :)
Hotels are nice too but they're usually pretty expensive...and really what else is there to do there other than sleep there...I wouldn't want to be in a suite all weekend.
So camping it is! | | comments: Leave a comment |
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Hm...this is a tough questions. I've seen a lot of bands out there. I'm not sure if the concerts I would describe them as magical...but definitely a lot of fun. Most of which were in the summer so I really just love the summer nights, and the way everything sounds and smells. The acoustics at an outdoor concert is my favorite, and just the smells of all the food there and the smells of summer is awesome.
I really liked a Nickelback show I went to it was just really good and they ended up filming the end of their "Rockstar" video there. But I've seen great bands like Metallica and Aerosmith. I suppose the Aerosmith 98-99 concert was the best. It was my 2nd concert and pretty much one of the first times I was out late like that in the city. I had the balloons from it for so long. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Back to work today. I didn't go to work yesterday. Didn't sleep well Sunday night so decided to just take the day. I didn't end up doing much except I banged my foot on the coffee table while trying to vacume. So now my foot is sore and it hurts to walk on it.
Work was alright today. I got a lead but it wasn't one that was an open project or anything but it was a lead none the less.
It's getting cool out there now, fall is soon setting in. Technically it already started. It was nice today though, but I think going to be cool all week.
Looking forward to going up to Maine Columbus Day weekend. It's going to be hectic not really sure on who is going for sure but it should be a good time. Steve and I have to leave for a bit on Saturday because we are going to a wedding but we should be back by the evening. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Today was the first time I did the MSPCA walk. It was a lot of fun, there were so many dogs there. I loved just seeing everyone with their dogs and everyone just happy and having a good time. It was such a beautiful day as well about 75 it got too today, and I'm sure we're not going to see many days like this. It's pushing the middle of September and the nights have already been very cool.
And I just got an IM on my phone that Steve isn't going to be coming down now. Which is fine but just annoying. I don't see why it takes him 2hrs to do laundry when he has a ton of clothes here but whatever. I suppose I'd rather just be by myself anyway. | | comments: Leave a comment |
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Oh I would absolutely let them suffer in shame...if they are annoying to me and only an acquaintance could careless if they were embarressed...
Does that make me a bad person? lol | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Went to the gym today after work with Danielle. Felt good, did some cardio and weights as well as some stomach crunches. Hopefully I can make a habit of going a few times a week and be back in shape in no time. We'll see.
Steve is on the commuter rail as we speak and we're going to order some pizza.
I had a alright day at work. I had like 20 QC's and not a lead to show for it. Steve already had early out this week which sucks because I don't as of yet.
We're planning a little get away to the cape for the weekend this weekend. It'll be just what we need I think. I'm trying to get in touch with Sharon to see if she can hook us up with a discount but I haven't heard back from her. I guess we'll just go either way. It'll be nice though to just go and relax. We'll be missing John and Kellie's cookout but oh well I guess. Right now this is something that I think we really need to do.
Well Steve's train should be arriving soon. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | test | | Time: | 09:53 pm |
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| | well checking out this new app that i have on my phone looks like i can make posts now... | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Michael Buble | | Subject: | New Livejournal? | | Time: | 07:43 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/punquinheads/pink/blah.gif) blah |
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| Hm...not so sure how this thing works anymore. I went to my friends thing to see if anyone posted anything and nothing was there...
So perhaps I don't have friends on here anymore or something I don't know...? hah. Ah well not about them anyway I guess.
Well, it's been a while since I last posted. I believe the last one I was feeling a little anxious I can't really remember. I moved out of the parents house so now I'm living here with Cait. So far things have been pretty good. My parents weren't too happy about the move but that was to be expected. They are for the most part over it now. It's taking a bit to get into the routine of things but for the most part I like it. I can come and go as a I please hang out with who ever when ever...not that I couldn't before with Mark but you get what I mean. Just a little bit more freedom I guess.
Things are getting a little bit better with all of that. Mark seems to be doing a lot better which is good. I still feel really bad sometimes. Sometimes I can't help but think that it's my fault. Well in actually it is mine too. We both were faulty. Although he a little more but haha. Either way we both lacked in the communication department which certainly is key in a relationship. I guess something to take in consideration with the next relationship. Whenever that may be. I really do miss having someone, but at the same time I so don't want to go through the "dating" process. I've done that once in my entire life and I have just as much of a clue now as I did the first time. So that should be interesting whenever that comes. When it happens it happens I guess I'm not really going to go out of my way. I don't think I'm really that type of person anyway.
Work is going OK, it's start to get a little more high pressured as being at your number at the end of the quarter is getting to be more and more important. Which kind of sucks because I never was really good at it to begin with. But what can you do. Keep trying I guess. Ireland is fast approaching I can't wait. That is going to be an awesome time! Especially being over there for New Years I wonder what we are gonna do...
Well anyway thought I had more to say but don't at the moment. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| hah so my mother has this lap top so that all the links in stuff are in japanese so it took me a sec to figure out how the hell to make a journal entry. Oh well...anyway...
So things are pretty much the same. Went up to Maine for the weekend slast weekend for Columbus Day that was a lot of fun. It was me, Jen and Jake, Pat and Sarah, Corey, and Aaron and Daneille. Everyone had a good time and the weather couldn't have been better. Mark wasn't there though so that was a little bit of a bummer.
Work is going alright, I got my bonus. I was a little bummed due to the taxes that were taken out from it but what can ya do I guess. I was able to to put away money for Ireland and spend the rest on a new lense, and a flash for my camera, and the rest on bills with some money left over. I really want to get a new computer seeing how I don't really have one any more, but I might just wait till I get back from Ireland and if I don't end up using all of that I can maybe use that to put towards one. I really want a mac, and I guess I could settle for another PC but I really wanted my next one to be a mac. We'll see I guess.
Well the red sox are on. It's the bottom of the 4th and it's still 0-0 which i guess is a good thing. I wish the sox would hurry up and score already!! Wakefield is pitching right now and he's doing pretty good actually. They are playing the Cleveland Indians.
I have to tell myself that I am going to wake up early to make it to the gym tomorrow. I need to get going on that!
Well ok...guess...that's all I have to say for now... | | comments: Leave a comment |
| This is the first Sunday I've had in so long where I wasn't out doing something and am actually bored.
I did the cancer walk today. We only did 5 miles though. I walked with Melanie, Tara and Melanie's friend Lisa and her sister in law and Melanie's cousin. It was actually pretty fun it was a beautiful day. Perfect 70 and sunny. So it wasn't too hot but wasn't cool either.
I want to be out of | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Well today was nice.
Caitlin came over to Sammy's house. (This dog I pet sit for in Needham) and we went out to breakfast at Brickfords up the street, we then watched 7 of the 8 Flight of the Conchords. We probably could have watched one more but his owners called and said that they'd be back earlier than planned. So we left just after we finnished watching that episode. If you haven't seen that show it's absolutely histerical. Those guys are brilliant in my opinion.
I was actually supposed to go to Mike Hogan's cookout but I didn't feel right going. I forgot to tell mark about it actually so I called him up to tell him he should go. I forgot when I made the plans with Caitlin that I originally told Mike I'd go. It actually worked out because it would have been weird had I went and Pat and Sarah, and Mike don't know about Mark and I. I told him to tell them...but I don't think he ever did. Aaron and Danielle were over there and they said it didn't seem like they knew anything. I wonder if and when he is going to tell them. He has better do it soon before someone else does.
I really feel sad about this whole situation. More so for Mark I guess. I really do feel like it's time to move on, and it sucks for him that he dosen't feel that way. I want the awkwardness and all the emotions to pass already so that we can all hang out together as friends again and not have it be all weird. I don't know things are going to work out for the Columbus Day trip and the Mountain House trip at the end of Oct. I guess the only resolution would be for me to go to the Columbus Day trip and then for Mark to just go to the Mountain House trip...
I thought perhaps there was a chance for us to still work things out. But when we hung out together last Friday, I think it's safe to say it's impossible. He just doesn't get anything that I've been saying and is still only thinking in the same way that he has always been. I really and truely believe we can remain as friends and have that be a much better relationship instead of a romantic one. I don't know how long that will take though or how that will become possible. I just hope more sooner than later. It sucks seeing him upset. :\
Well anyway...guess I'll go find something else to do for the evening. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| So tonight is the opening of the new Harry Potter movie!!
Going with Caitlin in a few minutes!! Can't wait.
Most likely will be sleeping over as well. Although I'm thinking I don't really feel like it at the moment, but we shall see how I feel when the movie gets out which is at like almost 1am.
Well anyway until next time! | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | Hawt!! | | Time: | 09:32 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/punquinheads/pink/hot.gif) hot |
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| It's very hot this evening. Wasn't really expecting it actually. I have to two windows open in here but it doesn't seem to be doing much. I'm thinking about moving towards the master bedroom with Ava and sleep in there with the AC. She's scared right now because there are random fireworks going off. She actually jumped on the bed with me, which she never does so that goes to show how nervous she is. Wonder why it effects some dogs and not others.
Anyway today was a bit of a busy day. Went to the Providence Mall with Melanie and Tara. I kind of technically didn't really want to go. Just wasn't really in the mood but we were originally supposed to go to Block Island but got rained out. So we ate at the cheesecake factory so that was yummy. I actually ordered a pretty unsatisfying buritto. But I ordered the Godiva Cheesecake as well. Yummy! Sooo not on the Transitions Diet but oh well...
Then went to a couple shops with Melanie and Tara where they bought some clothes while I browsed but then ended up waiting outside. I really hate going to the malls sometimes because nothing there fits me. There is not one store that is designed with clothes that I can just pick up and choose a size and there it is the perfect fit. I guess that happens to a lot of people. People who are too tall, to wide. So I guess I know how they feel, just from a different perspective. I did however go to a make up store and bought some new foundation, and a new eye shadow. So I'm pretty excited about that. Also bought a new pair of shoes that are cute. They're black flats with like the rubber band type thing that zig zags across. We also went and saw that Ratatouille Movie...It wasn't so bad. Not really worth seeing in the movie theater but it was cute. Better to wait for it on DVD. Had a good story though.
I was in such a weird mood while I was there. I don't know whether it's because I'm getting my period soon (sorry if any of you guys are reading this) but I was almost in a depressed mood. Maybe it was the disapointment of seeing outfits I like without having the proper figure or body type for, or the money as well. Maybe it was Melanie agrivating me about her stupid ailgments and her stupid injuries she's incured over the years. Or maybe just Mark who's been agrivating me as of late I don't know but it was one of those things where I literally just wanted to go home and be by myself. Hate when I get moods like that. I called Cait on the way home, then Leesette which kind of helped me get out of the funk but still. Maybe it's also being here for so long away from my own dogs, and maybe even Mark too I don't know. All I know is I can't wait to be done with this particular pet sitting job. Even though I might possibly be doing it again in 2 weeks I think.
Well it's nearly 10 now. For some reason their remote control stopped working on me so I dont really want to go downstairs and watch tv. Hah too lazy to get up and change channels. So I guess I'll go to bed. I have errands to run tomorrow anyway.
Nite. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| What did we all do this 4th?
Went to my family's cook out that wasn't too bad. It was a little weird because I haven't seen everyone in so long but it was nice to see everyone.
Then I went to Aaron and Danielle's cook out that was pretty good as well. Saw some friends that I haven't seen in a bit so that was nice. We were supposed to go Mike's Pat's brothers cook out as well but the fireworks weren't going off anyway so we decided to stay there.
It was fun I was bummed that I had to leave to go back to the dogs but it's ok.
Today I'm not so sure what's supposed to be going on. Me, Melanie and Tara were supposed to go to block island but that doesn't look like it's going to happen today. So I'm not so sure what we are going to do.
Well thought I would have had more to say but I guess not.
Until next time. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Well looks like I'm on a roll with this thing this time...
I would like to make a correction on my lastest post...he did call, just my volume was down haha.
However still peeved at him for not coming to my parents house to watch the fireworks. Granted it was better where he watched the, you could still see them just fine, they're just not as loud. ooo big deal.
I was trying to call him earlier to see if he would be coming with me to go to my familys bbq. I doubt he will be though. whatever.
Going to be a somewhat of a busy day though. I have to go from Roslindale to Medway, hang out there for 2-3 hrs then I will probably drive from Medway back to Roslindale to take out the dogs again so that I can stay out a little later and not feel so bad. Then from Roslindale back to Canton. Kind of a pain but what can ya do. It happens when you take on petsitting jobs.
Well I think I will get going so I can get ready for the day.
Later folks.
Oh and Happy Birthday America. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I love how you are already skating on thin ice with me, and you never called me back...
When will you learn...
lol hell when will I learn? | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Hello everyone,
Remeber me? I'm not sure anyone even still has me on their friends list anymore. I guess I ran out of interesting things to say on this.
Things have been quite the norm I guess. Work has been going well. I got a promotion...which really isn't a huge deal but I got a pay increase and after just about 5 months of waiting. I was finally put on a second project. Which is good because it will only increase the amount of leads I get.
I finnished out the quarter with only 17 leads. We all needed 18 in order to qualify for our quartley bonus. Which is a different amount for everyone. Mine would have been in the 3k range could have been more could have been less I'm really not sure. However thankfully my PM took note of me efforts and put in a good word for me. So I should be getting some sort of compensation at least, So thats good, I haven't quite decided what I'm going to be doing with that bonus. Depending on how much it will be I guess will determine what I spend it on. If it's enough I was thinking about taking a cruise somewhere with friends. Or perhaps even going to Ireland with Caitlin after Christmas. It should be a good time either way.
I'm petsitting at Ava's house right now. She lives in Roslindale. For some reason this computer smells like BO and electronics at the same time...I really dont' know how this is possible.
This week should be a bit of a busy week. I have work tomorrow naturally but then I am off till next Monday due to the Holiday. I'm not quite sure how everything is going to work out because I have to try and squeeze in 3 cookouts into one day and still pet sit for 2 dogs. (starting tues i have to watch shirley as well 2 houses down). So that should be interesting. Unfortunately this will probably mean not so much drinking for Michelle. Which I guess,,,isn't necisarrily a bad thing. (I've been dieting and I think I would be doing better if it weren't for my drinking on the weekends...) But anyway it should be a good time. This Thursday as well Melanie and Tara and I are going to be going to Block Island for the day. It should be a lot of fun actually :) I'm looking forward to it.
Other than that there really isn't much going on. I guess that's a good thing. Well that's all for now,..
I really should update this more often. | | comments: Leave a comment |
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michelle
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